your thong is hanging out like whoa
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
