My liver just broke up with me...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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