god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
