genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.