Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.