He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What changed your mind?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.