Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way