Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.