i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
