yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
