If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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