We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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