I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
