he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize