if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we're making bets on your personal life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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