Buhtt sex?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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