all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
