You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
