Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
