The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
