I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
