Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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