Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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