Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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