Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
