Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
