P.S. I can't hear my feet
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
