what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
