he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
