dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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