Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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