I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
