A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I die, sorry about rent.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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