Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
