this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
