Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
