Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
