C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
