thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
