We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
