I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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