She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I still have a little drunk in my system
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
