I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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