I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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