I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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