i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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