is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
