3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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