dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
