Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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