I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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