While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
