we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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