I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
