Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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