I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
