There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Who did Billy Mays play for?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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