Your face is a jimmy john
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I will die if light touches me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
