big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't deserve a penis
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
