this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
