right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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