so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
