they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
