Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
