I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
