My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
